It will end the day we bring our boys home and they're safe and healthy in our arms. For now, this blog is to serve as a form of diary for me (Sophie) so I can keep track of their progress, release some emotions and keep all our incredible friends and family informed of how our beautiful boys are. I'll update it as often as possible so check in as often as you like to hear how the boys are doing. It seems a little bit odd using a blog to write about our precious angels but it's been recommended to me by one of the midwives - so here we go.
Matthew wrote an email to some of you telling you all about our weekend and the boys grand entrance in to the world so I'll include it here as he describes the events better than I could - and I've run out of tissues so here is Matthews description of one of the most emotional days of our lives!
Soph and I just wanted
to write to you all to thank you so much for the incredible messages of love and
support that we have had over the last three days. It has been an absolute
rollercoaster of joy, wonder, concern and at many times sheer terror!! It would
be very difficult to convey just how much all the messages, phone calls,
flowers, presents, hampers, wine, cards etc etc have meant to us and it gives
Soph and I such massive comfort to know that at just 4 days old, the boys have
so many people that love them and are thinking of them.
We both hope to be
able to speak to as many of you as possible over the coming days but I thought
I’d write a brief note (sorry if it doesn’t end up being brief!!) to give you an
update on us and the twins.
First things first, so
you can all stop worrying, the boys are doing well and apart from obviously
being 14 weeks too early, are absolutely perfect. Lots of babies are born early
and clearly that has associated problems but the big worries come if they are
unwell, along with being very premature. Secondly, unfortunately we have a very
long road ahead and whilst they have now had a few strong days, they have a long
way to go (they will be in hospital for at least 10 weeks) and we have been told
to expect ups and downs along the way. For now, they are doing well and we're
treasuring every moment we have with them.
Please skim through the below as you see fit, we’ve gone into lots of detail but that’s mainly because we wanted to get it all down so that in the years to come we can remember the events of the 14th Jan appropriately.
So, to start at the
beginning, Soph and I were happily picking up our new very unsexy family estate
car at Car Giant when Soph didn't feel quite right. Neither of us were the least
bit concerned…She had been having periody pains the day before and on Saturday
itself but the doctor Sophie saw on Friday suggested it could just be the pelvis
stretching. We phoned the hospital and as we have learned, they take no risks
with twins so they just advised Soph to come in for a quick check up. To cut a
long story short, we had the check up, all seemed well and we were just waiting
to see a doctor to ask some questions about why Soph was getting mild pains when
things seemed to take a sudden turn for the worse. In the doctors area Soph
started bleeding very heavily. To think of it now is horrible as at the time no
one could immediately tell she was in labour, she and I just knew something was
very wrong and she quickly got very upset, concerned and she was shaking
profusely. She was immediately taken upstairs where it took them less than five
minutes for a doctor to come in and tell us she was in labour and that the boys
were definitely going to be born very soon. Again she got very frightened but as
soon as we were transferred into our own room Soph just completely changed from
being scared and emotional and just focused everything on breathing and calming
down the labour process….anyone who says hypnobirthing couldn’t work should see
it in full flow, it was utterly incredible how she just became so strong and in
a complete zone, I was so proud of her and there’s no doubt this contributed
hugely to the successful natural birth of the boys.
The doctors told us
that every extra hour the boys could stay inside Soph would be beneficial and we
had no idea how long the whole thing was going to take. She was getting
contractions but she just kept breathing through them and very gradually they
became more frequent and stronger. We were visited by the Paediatricians who
told us the process that would occur as soon as they were born and they had to
prepare us for the immediate checks they would do (lungs, heart, stomach, brain)
and the potential for what could be wrong with them. This was very upsetting for
us both but the doctors and nurses were awesome and comforted us through it. I
guess we’d been in our own room for maybe a couple of hours before it was
obvious the boys’ arrival was imminent. Within five minutes we had teams of
doctors in the room with us, there were about 4 Paediatricians per baby ready to
take them straight from Soph to start working on them and then another 4
midwives and doctors looking after Soph. Because the boys were small there was a
chance the birth was always going to be incredibly quick and Soph may have a
different take on it but Twin No.1 took 4 or 5 big pushes from Soph and Twin
No.2 another few. It was all very quick and it was scary but Soph was amazing
throughout and the doctors were so calm and encouraging that despite the number
of people in the room and the obvious potential issues, we managed to get the
joy out of the occasion and they both had a little scream when they came out
which we knew was a good sign.
So at 17.09 Xander
William Fox was born and he weighed 1lb 15 and he was closely followed at 17.16
by Joseph Devereux Fox who weighed 2lb 2.
What happened next
seemed like a blur. The boys were both being worked on very quickly and we only
got a passing glance at them as they were handed to their respective teams of
doctors. Soph and I were told that early signs were good and that when all their
support tubes had been put in place, we would be able to see them. This took a
long time and was agony for us both. They kept saying ‘just another hour’, ‘just
another hour’. When they came to see us at 11pm and told us it could be another
90 minutes we were both so tired and emotional that they could see how desperate
we were to get into to the Neo Natal unit to see them. When we eventually did at
just before midnight it was certainly very distressing to see them in their
little incubators with big breathing tubes in their mouths, feeding tubes in
their noses and various other tubes and monitors. We both found this very hard
as all we wanted to do was give them a cuddle and I guess the reality of just
how young and potentially ill our babies could be started to set in. Gradually
we gained little bits of info as we asked what questions came into our heads.
They were quick to tell us that the guys were as healthy as they could be and
that all they were doing was supporting their natural growth and helping them in
every way they needed to. The level of care and attention they are receiving is
phenomenal and it is clear the nurses do their job because they love looking
after babies so much.
The last few days have
gone by smoothly. We can’t expect them to make huge strides overnight but it is
very comforting for us to know they are still healthy and strong and are
progressing in a stable fashion. They have been making the kind of improvements
the hospital expects them to and at present, they still see no cause for
concern. However they do still keep talking about this ‘rocky road’ ahead which
clearly leaves Sophie and I more than a little concerned about what we can
expect over the coming weeks. Needless to say, our phones have become like
alarms and each time they go off, we both immediately cr*p ourselves. We are
very sorry if we haven’t returned texts or calls but we have been blessed to
have been inundated with so many that we’d need to employ a full time secretary
to do so! Please be assured that every message is being read and fully absorbed
and we are hugely grateful for everything everyone is offering to do and doing
for us.
Soph is now home and
getting stronger physically and emotionally by the day. She has started
expressing milk which seems to be working well so far and is fantastic for the
boys as it is full of so much goodness. I remain so incredibly proud of her and
in awe of how strong she is being. As for me, of course there are moments where
I really struggle with everything. On the one hand I am so incredibly excited
and in love with my two boys but on the other I can’t help but feel so sad they
are in the situation they are in. Ultimately I am looking at the huge positives
we have received so far and just hope so much that they continue in the same
manner. Beyond everything though, Soph and I just can’t wait to take them both
home, however right now we’ll just settle for our first proper
cuddle.
Attached are a few
pics. The photos of Joseph and Xander I took just this morning and for those
that saw them over the weekend they will already notice a huge difference. The
other shot is our first Fox family pic, Soph holding Joseph on Sunday and little
Xander in his incubator behind.
Lots of love to
everyone and thank you all again.
Matt and
Soph
(and Xander and
Joseph!)
xx
Below are the photos we were given by the midwives before we could see them. Xander is in the white hat and Joseph is in the green. Check out Josephs pose! Just like his daddy!
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